benbamboom! (irvine_wash) wrote in aroomofonesown,

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im trying to write this ...whatever about a safari tour thats in the south west of western australia
it started with the idea that they get drunk and one of them thinks he's a hyena, the others think theres a world war so prepare a whole mad max, post apocalpsyse society but i really, really am stuck
im fucked
what do i do?

this is it so far, i have 2 narrators
I know I should, but I never wash my hair. I hate how it looks; all feathery and shit. Once in a while I’ll rub some soap in there, if it’s getting matty I mean. As it is , it’s been about four weeks since that last happened. But I really wish I could now.

I’ve got puke in it. Yeah, I know. Gross. There’s mud and sweat and probably some blood as well, but puke is all that really concerns me. How did this happen?
Drinking and stupidity, which is usually how it works out.
But this was really stupid. We went out driving.
In a jeep.
Over grasslands.
At night.
Looking for hyenas.
Hyenas, for a reason I forget, were the unicorns to the little girl in us. They’re so ugly, so brutal, so archetypically beastly. This is how Hugo sucked us in.
“I know, let’s go see if we can find some! They’re active at night.”
“Yeah, man! Kick arse!”
Message from Manda.: COME ON SAFARI
Reply: Safari? What?
Where? Africa?
Moore River? What was she talking about? She came over with this pamphlet; it said that there was this new Jurassic Park like place opening out in the Moore River valley.
“With animals from Africa? Like a real safari?” I wondered.
Yes. With animals from Africa, animals from all over the joint. A real safari. It only cost $30 entrance, plus $150 insurance for the Jeep hire. Everything else you supplied yourself.
Wow, eh? That was pretty much it.
How could I say no? I was hooked.
We rang up Neil and Stuie, he had exams, but Neil was cool to come. We tried to get in contact with Miriam and Sam H, but no one had any idea where they were. After an intense fiscal breakdown it was decided that we wanted five people, ideally.
So Neil asked around and got this guy Harry and his girlfriend Fiona, who he knew from work.
Harry looked like Brad Pitt in Kalifornia. Neil looked like Brad Pitt in 12 Monkeys. Fiona looked like Brad Pitt in Fight Club. I said “Sammy my boy, we are ON.”
I heard his voice through the double glazing on the bus windows. He looked like Steve Irwin after he finally got too close. “HALLO!”
I heard it through headphones.
“Come on! Come on!”
We came, we came. Off the bus, out onto red.
Dirt? Outback/desert? How could this be a savannah? Confusing, huh?
I said so to Sammy J, but he wasn’t paying attention to me.
“So, how are we all?
Tired?” This was Hugo. Our tour guide from South Africa.
That was about as authentic as a savannah as it got. It was all scruffy bush trying not to look like desert. I was hanging out for giraffes, but there weren’t any. But I wasn’t too disappointed, in fact I was kinda surprised how good it all was.
I went and asked Harry for one of his cigarettes, and before I said anything he threw me his pack.
“Thanks.” I said.
“Fuckin’, how cool was it with the emus and ostriches! It’s like bloods and crips.”
“Yeah…I kinda liked the antelope running with kangaroo mobs better. It was so… multicultural.”
Harry was sneering. ”Poof! Wait ‘till tonight man, Hugo said he’s taking us to see hyenas!”
We weren’t drunk yet.

Half an hour later we were. I can tell cause I say “motherfucker” every 3rd of 4th word.
Ugh, I hate whisky. I drank the last beers the night before, so it was my own fault.
I guess.
Sammy was slouching back in a deck chair. Harry, Fiona and Hugo were all talking about something… I can’t remember what it was, but every now and then Sammy would have a sudden flash of disgust on his face. Then Neil goes “I can’t see how the wolves and lions and all that survive.”
We were washing up. Well he was.
“They bring in sheep and cows and stuff. I showed you the brochure.”
“They what? That’s horrible!”
“Ha ha!”
“What’s horrible?” Sammy had shuffled over to us.
“Bringing in sheep and stuff.”
“Those poor bastards!” said Neil.
“Pish… no it’s not. It’s like in fucking… Jurrasic Park, with those verocoraptor motherfuckers.” This cracked me up, cause little Sammy loved dinosaurs, and little Sammy was pished.
We heard Hugo yell out something. I could see Harry looking all smug, and Hugo storming off to his Jeep.
This is when Fiona said Hugo wasn’t taking us to see the hyenas anymore.

*‘Tomorrow when the war began’ style dream
*One member of group joins Hyena pack
*Lot of references to scartissue, new growth/warping. Blisters

some of the punctuation that i've deliberatly like, kept out of formal syntax wont work properly with just cutting and pasting, but u should get the idea
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